GTA: IV

So GTA IV came out today, as I'm sure you already know and are probably playing right now... but for the one or two people on the fence about the game I thought I'd expound a little on my first impressions.

The game is awesome!!! I've only played up to the 3rd mission and done quite a bit of exploring, but WOW. The three islands are massive! I can't wait to unlock them all and explore.

The graphics and character animations are fluid and disturbingly realistic. The high level of realism makes your stomach cringe when you run over innocent school girls. In previous GTA installments the gratuitous violence was acted upon such cartoony digital characters that it didn't even phase true gamers. I've been playing games all my life so I like to consider myself as desensitized to violence as the next pwnerer, however, GTA IV depicts the myriad of unspeakable crimes and actions you can commit so realistically that you'll look behind you to make sure no one witnessed you just stomp an old man to death.

The story is pretty compelling too. Being back in Liberty City after years away is like returning home. Some familiar landscapes and buildings await true GTA fans. You are the Eastern European immigrant Niko, who's fresh off the boat, and you spend the first few missions fishing your cousin out of a mess of money troubles.

The fighting has expanded to be more realistic and now enemies will take more than 4-5 punches to take them down. The driving controls may seem a little wonky and uncontrollable at first, but using the handbrake and the brake simultaneously while remembering not to constantly floor it will make you an expert getaway driver in no time.

The only thing that bugs me is that vaulting over obstacles isn't as fluid as it could be. Why they didn't just lift the controls and feel of Assassin's Creed is beyond me. Granted they would need to put some limitations on your ability to launch up walls, but still I wish leaping over a fence at an angle as you evade the cops didn't involve stopping then jumping.

Apparently the girlfriend side missions will play a more important role in this installation as you get a girl's number after the first mission and are encouraged to date her.

The radar has been improved allowing you to see all the locations of cops around you and their "aggro" range, if you will. Once you get outside of their zone of influence your home free, but there's still pay-n-spray's if you cant evade the fuzz. Additionally, you have a GPS tracking system, which must be implanted in your brain or something because it works in every car, that maps the most efficient route to all your destinations. This time saver prevents players from having to pause the game every time a new way point is added to consult the map and plot a route. Maybe a crutch, but one I welcome.

Well that's about all I've gotten into in GTA IV, so far. In the immortal words of Ferris, "It is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up." pwnt.

WoW: Molten Core

Just saw this, i know it's kinda late but nonetheless awesome:

WoW: Molten Core pwnt!

PWN Heights

So I ran across these on the web not too long ago... Awesome houses unless your afraid of heights!
Bonifacio, Corsica

Apparently there was a rock slide 20 years ago and 2-3 of the houses plummeted into the ocean! But as you can see the residents of Bonifacio are unshaken, as they continue to stalwartly occupy their precarious mansions.
The view is great but watch that first step!

My dream house!

I couldn't find where this house is, but WOW it looks awesome.

Judging by the looks of it, I'd say it's on some small Greek Isle somewhere in the meditarranean... but I could be waay off.

When I get rich and buy and island, this will be the one.

A monastery literally on the side of a sheer cliff face!
Tiger's Nest in Paro Valley, Bhutan

This is the ultimate in vertical living. Not only does the "nest" occupy a tiny precarious stretch of land on the cliff, but everything must be shipped in by donkey, and even they can't make it all the way. Once near the gates the path gets so narrow that a conveyor belt of monks is needed to get heavy supplies into the village.

Imagine building this place when everything you need had to be literally carried in.

Awesome place to visit but wouldn't want to live there.

God forbid any of the monks sleepwalk!

heights PWNT!

PWN.... lists? Hellz yea!

Since everyone loves lists? Why not make them useful and hilarious! Hopefully you can put some of these to good use in your daily life...



Top 10 Ways to Freak out your Roommate
If you don't have a roommate, do it to your significant other or parents!



10. Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He just didn't belong."
9. Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.
8. Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "The hair, it's growing. Growing!"
7. Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon...."
6. Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
5. Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.
4. While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
3. Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?" Complain loudly that you are hungry.
2. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"
1. Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."...



Ever wondered why Master Chief kicks so much ass?



Fuckin' Chuck Norris...

1. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
2. There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
3. Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
4. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
5. Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
6. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
7. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
8. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
9. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
10. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
11. more



How to tick people off!



1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

lists... PWNT!

PWN air travel

So... it's been a while since my last post. I apologize, but school is hellish right now and my 21st birthday was on the 10th! Anyway I have a few interesting tidbits to share... enjoy

First off, the godly power of Craigslist never ceases to amaze me! You can find a job, a house, and even argue religion! But I warn you, steer clear of the red light district that is "casual encounters"...

If your searching for rentals some other great sites are fastrental.com and forrent.com

Now, in the spirit of PWN FACE let me share a few tips for pwning cheap air travel:



If you're 18-22, AirTranU is the best! Flights are $70 for short trips and $100 for "long haul" flights. You show up at least an hour b4 your flight, show em your ID and they give you a stand-by ticket. If you don't make it on the next flight you can just wait around and get on the next. If you have some flexibility in your schedule there's no better, cheaper way to fly.



If your planning on traveling to Florida, the Carribean or South America you gotta check out Spirit Air. Ridiculously cheap flights but limited destinations. They have deals every now and then where you can fly for as cheap as $9! International flights are nice and cheap too. We're talking $200 for a non-stop from Atlanta to Costa Rica.
I've heard the service is lackluster, but with prices this cheap, who cares!?

And just to give you some motivation to get out there:
The average human life is 700,000 hours!! Get out there and enjoy it! Time is ticking. pwnt!

Dune: The Battle for Arrakis

Best RTS EVER!!! For free! DL and play it now! The 1st great RTS ever made with some of the best music you will ever hear in a video game.



Check it out! pwnt.

avant-garde

Every so often art as we know it is turned on its head. Picasso, DuChamp and Warhol were all "before their time" and created art that was strange and new. In our contemporary world where everything's been done 100 times over, rarely do we encounter new and unique mediums for artistic expression. But here's a few sites that do just that! Re-appropriating everyday objects and locations for artistic expression. enjoy!

So thats how watermelon's get full of water....

more food art:
mark jenkins

headless!

more street art:
snegopad

And this one is just too funny. A "peep" show complete with Starbust chairs!


new avenues and inspiration for artistic expression. pwnt!

pwn parkour!

Parkour, aka "free running", is a sport started in France by David Belle which is now quite popular in Europe and growing in popularity here in the States.



The sport focuses on efficient movement through urban spaces and practitioners are called "traceurs". Ever wanted to be like spider-man? Or skateboard without a skateboard? Well Parkour is the sport for you!

Me and a couple friends made a flash site detailing everything you need to know to PWN FACE at Parkour. The site contains instructional videos of tricks for aspiring traceurs, history, theory and a map to find parkour community sites in your area. Check it out!

For a little inspiration, here's a video of the best of David Belle:


But, before you go jumping off buildings, you might want to watch this video of crashes... ouch


Just like anything else, practice makes perfect. You gotta eat dirt before you can PWN FACE. Try practicing the moves on our parkour site and you'll be doing hardcore parkour in no time! Pwnt!

Barack College Tour

I've never seen an interview with Barack where he wasn't rushed through every question. It's nice to hear his unhurried responses. It gives you a glimpse at his true intelligence and principles, and I must say I'm impressed. He discusses his ideas for the economy, college aid, the war in Iraq and even what it's like to grow up as an interracial child.

There's 6 parts total:
one
two
three
four
five
six

pwnt.

pwn the WoW auction house

The auction house is easiest to think of as an embedded ebay with fake money. Therefore, making money is way easier than in real life. Especially since patch 2.4 has come out, there are increased cash drops from everything. So people are richer than ever and more willing than ever to give you that money through auctions :P.


Number 1:

get lvl70 nub!

Any money earned under lv70 is a mere fraction of the what you could earn at lvl cap. I see low lvl characters farming elementals, elites and the like and I can't help but wonder why?? Why spend all that time farming when you could just level to 70 then farm and make 10 times as much for the same amount of time farming. Not to mention the serious cash to be made just off the AH...

Number 2:
Buy low, sell high... duh. But really do it! Some call it "prospecting", some call it cheating, but whatev its money. For instance, try buying large prismatics during the week (when the price is low) then posting them at a much higher price on saturday night. You're assured at least a few gold profit on each for about 5min work.

Even better, if you have an enchanter, search for lvl65+ rares, buy and disenchant everything cheaper than the going price for large prismatics. Then post your new prismatics for free money!

But that's small potatoes...

Number 3:
The real money is to be earned from your professions. Each profession has a few different ways to rake in dough. Selling herbs, leather, ore, etc is one way. These raw materials usually sell well because the real AH pwners buy raw goods and sell finished ones. So while your spending hours picking flowers to sell, some other guy is spending mere minutes buying your flowers and making flasks to sell for tons of gold. Work smarter, not harder!

However, flask recipes are very time intensive, but there's easier ways to use your secondary prof to rake it in. The trick is finding the item you can make using the cheapest mats that sells for the most on the AH. This can vary greatly between characters, servers, professions, etc. But in general, the simplest and easiest goods are your best bet.

Also, make sure the item you're selling is in high demand. Generally, the easiest way to determine that is to see how many of those particular goods are posted. If there's multiple pages, chances are that good is in high demand and anything you post will be bought swiftly.

I have a 365 leatherworker and, if I try, I can make about 50g from 5min of posting leather. Buy regular knothide leather during the week, sometimes as low as 5g for 20, then sell it during the weekend for as high as 4g each! Thats 250% profit and no wasted time farming!




I also have a 375 alchemist and he can make 10-20g each day by transmuting common primals into valuable ones, such as buying primal water and selling primal air.

Find your professions tricks and exploit them. The AH is yours for the taking. PWNT!

intro

Welcome to Pwn Face! The only blog on the net dedicated to pwning... everything. From CoD 4 and WoW to sports and relationships, PWN FACE will help you pwn it all! While face pwning tips will be the main aim of the blog, any number of other subjects will be covered, discussed and pwnt!

A la hilarity:


Skip to the last few minutes for the rocket sled! much lol will ensue

News:


Systematic eradication and assimilation of Tibet or necessary peace keeping measures? Whatever your opinion, not great PR for a country hosting the Olympics in mere weeks...

And any number of other interesting topics:






So prepare to PWN FACE! Soon to be a cornucopia of info, entertainment and pwnage. Enjoy your stay and feel free to leave comments!